When it comes down to who has the coolest shit, nobody compares to Boba Fett. Between the rope shooting wristbands, the rocket pack, and the cool as hell gun, this man knows how to pack a weapon. Not to mention the cool ass ship...

Five lines in two damn movies, and this boys a legend. Now that's bad. And let's not forget he's the only man to get lippy with Darth. "He's no good to me dead." That's a man that means business. Quite literally the only man to mouth off to Vader, and not get force-choked.

Might I add that he's also the only man on our list to have his own Underroos. "The Underwear That's Fun to Wear!" Now that's Bad (Not that I'm wearing 'em right now or anything!)

Why only number nine you ask? Answer: The girly scream in Jedi. Sorry, but he should have taken it like a man. Sarlaac or not...

Talk about a man who's had bad karma since the moment of birth...

His mom's bit by a vampire, and he takes on some vampire characteristics. He's an intravenous drug user, but he ain't using smack. His boy's got him jacked up on garlic! You gotta wonder what that's like?! You think he snorts Mrs. Dash when no one's around?

For sheer ass whoopin volume, Blade comes in the top ranks, clearing out an entire night club before the opening credits even finish. And our boy don't let up, he whoops ass through the whole film.

Okay, she's travelled 45 light years, wakes up with serious stinky breath and pit funkies, and does she do that girly run to the shower. No. She does some pull-ups, and slaps around a fellow grunt.

But it's not until they get ambushed, and we see Vasquez open up with the "Smart-Gun" and the hell with the fact that there's a nuclear reactor right over her. (Why do they call it a smart gun? Because if your going into an alien infested colony, and you don't have one, you ain't too smart.)

Aside from the most overt use of "Fuck", this ain't the warm fuzzy Joe Pesci from "With Honors". This is the Joe Pesci that buys the house next door and you move.

Oh, yeah, Jules...

The man who made afros cool again, and lets not forget the wallet. But what really put him on the list was flat out style. I mean religious zealots are scary, but religious zealots packing guns, that's down right evil.

A man so bad, he had to be portrayed by Mr. T. (What? You really thought Mr. T wouldn't wind up on this list one way or another?!) And were talking T pre-G. (That's pre-Gold, for those of you not in the know!)

How bad was he? He kicked Rocky's ass! Now, that's bad.

"But, Apollo Creed beat Rocky in the first film" you say. Yeah, but Clubber Lang kicked his ass in 3 Rounds, not 15. Three.

And let's not forget the way he got the fight. Oh he didn't go after Rocky, he goes after Adriane with a pick-up line that was so smooth, Ron Jeremy would have been proud. "Hey Woman, Hey Woman! You need a real man? Bring your pretty little self over to my apartment and I'll show you a real man." That hurts!

A few minutes before the fight, he gives Mickey a shove that's so bad, Mickey has a heart-attack and dies, then starts shit with Apollo Creed.

And the whole time he's knocking the Italian Stallion around like a little bitch, he's saying "Come on Balboa, bring it to me!" It took Rocky getting some underwear with Stars and Stripes on them before he could win his title back.

Bottom line. You run into Clubber, you better stop by the store and pick up some "Eye of the Tiger"

"To crush an enemy, to see him driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of the women!"

Late Night with the Max Weinberg 7... Nope, I ain't talking about that Conan. I'm talking about the man hissef. Arnold. Playing the bad ass who live by the code: "If you can't eat it, beat it or screw it, kill it!"

Sure we start off seeing Conan's humble beginnings and watch his parents bite it hard, but then he gets sold into slavery and everythings okay. Next thing you know he's bulking-up pushing "the Wheel of Pain".

After he gets loose, he becomes the man who eats. Apparently they didn't feed him too well when he was working the Wheel of Pain, and gladiator circuits, because Conan never turns down a free meal. As it was so accurately put to me: "Man, Conan's a eating motherfucker!"

We get to see Conan project his eating disorder early in the film, when he meets his friend Subiti the Arkannian. "I haven't eaten for days." Conan's quick response: "And who says you will?" You think he heard that once or twice in his life?

When he's not eating, Conan's either stealing or killing. And apparently that's okay back then, because when he does it, King Osrick sends for him, and asks him to steal and kill for him.

So he becomes an entrepenuer. Onward with our story, he proceeds to beat, screw and kill everything in site including a camel, a snake and a girl. (You decide which one he beats, screws and kills.) When his girlfriend dies, he does the manly thing, and sets her on fire. Then he kills some people, steals a princess and kills some more people, ending it all off by killing James Earl Jones and making a lot of people put there candles out, finishing it all off by burning James Earl Jones house down. You think he ate him after the movie was over?

He starts off kicking the asses of his students, and then takes his show on the road. He kicks some ass in a tournament, and then sneaks out and kicks some guards asses. Then he sneaks into the compound steals some secrets and then kicks so much ass his foot gets tired. Then he gets caught and kicks some more ass. Then kicks some ass until... Well you get the idea. Ending it all off by kicking some mirror's asses, and then Dr. Han's one-handed ass.

Lee is so bad, he not only kicks the crap out of people, but a couple of times he kicks the crap out of them without doing anything.

The ass kicking leader in sheer volume, (the man had to kick like 7 or 800 asses in the film) nobody tops his style. Who else could slap you in the head and remind you: "Don't look at the finger or you will miss all the heavenwee gworee!" Now I don't know what that is exactly, but I ain't looking at the finger. (I'll keep an eye out for that foot he busts off in people's ass, but I ain't watching the finger!)

The undisputed Biggest Baddest of all time. And don't tell him otherwise cause he'll go to one of your family reunions and kick your whole extended-families' ass without breaking a sweat!

He kicked asses wholesale.

He even ripped a guys throat out with his bare hands, and fired ex-Pro Wrestler Terry Funk. (Hell, I was waiting for a barb-wire match, and someone to crack him with a folding chair.)

But, he has been suspended from consideration for one very simple reason...

Dirty Dancing!

Watch me now, Hey, Work, Work.... (Ah fuck it)

Let's light up the scoreboard:

• Did you have the time of your life? Did you?!
• There's no more coat hooks, Can I use your girlfriends nose...
• You broke the window out of a '55 Chevy so Pinnochio's hair didn't get wet?
• Your girlfriend's name is Frances?
• You bump and grind with the hot blond, and then you hook up with Gonzo...
• Johnny Castle was your characters name?
• You're Gay, Aren't you?